How Not Letting Go Can Hold You Back

iStock

There are often times that we hold on to certain people in our lives, for sentimental value. These people do not add any substance to our lives, they may have actually hurt us and continue to drain us; still, we hold on. Maybe we feel like the few good memories would completely disappear if we moved on. So we remain friends, and you say you just won’t fall for the same trick twice.

Then finally someone comes along worth believing in. You finally feel like you’ve found happiness. But it doesn’t take long for that overstayed guest to intrude in your life. It may start off small, just staying in contact. Then old habits start reforming. “I’m just helping them out”, that’s the lie you tell yourself. “I’m being a good person by forgiving them and letting them stay in my life. After all, we meant so much to each other.”

No, you’re not being a good person, you’re playing it safe. You’re being a coward. You don’t want to lose what you had, but the thing is, you’ve already lost it. Right now you’re just keeping up a façade and it’s slowly poisoning your present relationships.

It’s okay to walk away, once you’re doing it for the right reasons; it’s okay. You aren’t being selfish by thinking about your own happiness, it’s your right. No matter how much that person may seem to need you, trust me they will survive. You owe it to yourself to nurture healthy relationships and not let the mud from your past be tracked into your future.

~Davrielle J. Valley, NCC, MS

Have a comment? Feel free to leave a comment. Feedback is always appreciated.