Are All the Stories About You True?

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In every family, stories get repeated and embellished all the time. Every member of the family has a story, that the whole family will never let them forget. We’ve all experienced this. Whether it was your first week having your driving license, and you were a little too excited that you didn’t realize when you hit the curb. Now, years later, you are still the last person your family wants behind the wheel. Have you gotten into any serious accidents? Nope! In fact, since then you’ve been extra cautious, and you’re actually a pretty safe driver. Yet still, because they tell the story so often, or at this point just give a knowing look, you have it etched in your brain that you’re a horrible driver.

We all have so many stories that make up our lives and who we identify ourselves to be. Some stem from our families and roll over into our adult relationships. Others may develop among our relationships with friends or significant others. But how many of these stories are actually true? “How did I get to believe that I am not smart? I try my best in everything I do, I may not always succeed but I put in the work.” “Am I confrontational? Only this one person keeps saying that about me, and it’s always when I tell them my difference in opinion. Does that make me a confrontational person?” “People tell me I’m a slut because I have a lot of guy friends. I just think girls are drama, it’s not that I’m in a relationship with them. Maybe I am a slut.”

Whatever your story is, if you are going to believe it, make sure it’s the truth. Sometimes people tell us things to bring it to our awareness, and some introspection may be needed. But if you find that there are other circumstances that outweigh this (maybe) one occurrence, don’t make it a part of your identity. If you are willing to be completely honest with yourself, you know who you are better than anyone else. People will keep telling the stories, we all do it. But never let it change who you think you really are.

~Davrielle J. Valley, NCC, MS