Stop Looking At Your Problems; Start Looking For the Exceptions

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How often do you tell the people in your life thank you for the things that they do right? Do you even take notice of those positive things? Most of us, tend to only focus on the things people are doing wrong. And because this is where our attention is, we constantly complain.

When was the last time you purposely searched for the positive actions of others? A little compliment can give a person the will to do that positive action again. Have you ever noticed that the more you tell someone NOT to do something, the more they do it? As if there was an underlying challenge in your words that they needed to defy.

What would happen if instead of telling them what NOT to do, you praised them for what they DID do right? People are more similar to animals that we’d like to think. And just as you can train a dog to learn new tricks, you can get the people around you to live better lives, but it’s only if you can have the patience to look for the positives.

We use words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ when describing others' actions but nothing always remains the same. Become a detective and search for those odd moments when they aren’t doing the wrong thing. Even if they haven’t done the right thing, just the absence of doing the wrong thing is a step, so praise them for it. And then watch that behavior repeat itself. So if you want to have healthier relationships; critique less and compliment more.

~Davrielle J. Valley, NCC, MS