Why Women Need to Stop Apologizing

iStock

I once had a teacher that said, “Women say sorry for everything. Don’t say sorry unless you mean it!” Every time we would attempt to say the words, she would verbally slap our mouths shut. Why is it that women feel inclined to apologize so often? Whether it’s expressing the way we feel, “I’m sorry”, the ideas we have, “I’m sorry”, and our actions, “I’m sorry!” Don’t you ever get tired of apologizing?

We’ve become so used to it that we don’t even realize when we say it. Most of us have been trained since birth to please others. To always cater to the feelings and desires of everyone around us, and to ensure we are the afterthought. It has been reinforced and ingrained in us that for nearly every decision, we make for ourselves, we automatically think that it is causing harm to someone else. Without thinking we say those virtually meaningless words, “I’m sorry.”

After working up the courage to stand up for what you believe in, are you sorry? For letting someone know that their actions hurt you, are you really sorry? When you have to put yourself first for once, are you sure you’re sorry? If you are, you shouldn’t be.

“I’m sorry”, should be said with sincerity. It should be used when actual harm has been inflicted and it is your fault. Stop apologizing for being yourself and having a voice, men don’t.

~Davrielle J. Valley, NCC, MS

Have a comment? Feel free to leave a comment. Feedback is always appreciated.