Be a Warrior, NOT a Worrier

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Anxiety affects all of us. Even if you believe you are the least stressed-out person in the world, the fact that you’re alive proves that you have some amount of anxiety. Initially, anxiety was meant for survival. It would help keep us alert and aware of our surroundings. But what about those of us that live with a creek in our necks? Nothing is threatening you physically, but mentally, you’re on the battlefield.

The thoughts of the future, have you constantly on edge. The memories of the past, have you tied up in regret. You think you’re managing it because nobody is noticing your light getting dimmer. You are able to keep up appearances with everyone you interact with because no one takes the time to look deep enough. Yet, when you reach home after a long day, and you finally have some time to yourself, you feel it. You are exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Your shoulders burn with the weight of the world that you’ve been carrying. Weights that are not your own to bear, yet you bear them.

“When was the last time I was truly happy?” you ask yourself and honestly don’t even know the answer. For days, weeks, months, years, you’ve been going on autopilot. Living but not really living. And at night when you crawl in your bed craving the sweet release of sleep…it never comes. Instead, you lie awake thinking of all the ‘could haves’ and ‘maybes’ and oh, of course, the ‘ifs’. As hours pass by you sink deeper and deeper into a black hole of worry. And then faster than you realize it’s time to do it all over again.

Then one day, the anxiety that had been building up gets too much and it spills over as it chokes you. In and out you breathe, but the air isn’t entering your lungs fast enough. And your thoughts are racing so fast that it’s making you dizzy. Like a tsunami, the revelation that panic attack brings with it is that you’re not okay. Everything is not fine. You feel broken.

So what are you going to do about it? Nothing is wrong with being broken, it’s an opportunity to transform yourself into something even better than you were before. It’s okay to admit that you need help and to seek that help. It will take time and perseverance, to retrain your brain not to automatically worry. Take your time, build yourself together piece by piece. Worrying doesn’t get you anywhere other than into an early grave. So take control over what you can and learn to let go of what you can’t. Slow down, and just feel the sun on your cheeks, the air entering your lungs, the fabric on your skin. Be in the moment.

~Davrielle J. Valley, NCC, MS